Be Careful Which Counsellor You Choose

Last Updated on 15 July 2021 by Leon Rowan

OK, so you have some issues, problems or simply something that you would like to talk to a counsellor, or therapist, about?
The problem is; there are SO many people out there to choose from.
And; do you see a psychologist, psychiatrist or counselor, or even a life coach?
And; how do you know who is any good?
Sadly, qualifications are no guarantee of good service, despite what many people might think (Often the thinking results from deep subconscious conditioning). Here are some examples.

  1. In 2008, I came across a website run by a counsellor who was not only a registered psychologist, but has 3 university degrees, including a masters majoring in counselling. He had been counseling since 1989 in universities, community based counselling agencies and within corrections. His client base included elite athletes, entrepreneurs and professionals. He claimed to be good at what he did, but admitted he had low self confidence! He then went on to explain that he did not solve his self confidence issues until he learnt a revolutionary new method of dealing with problems. He then went on to say that he now used this method extensively with his clientele. (Note: The website is now defunct, however I have references).
  2. Also in 2008, I met a woman at a business seminar who had an enormous string of qualifications on her business card: BA (Behavioural Sciences/Psychology), Dip Ed, DCH, MHC, CACH, CPLH, Master Practitioner NLP, Master Coach NLP, MP Time Line Therapy. Member AHA, ABH, ABNLP, TLTA. Impressive huh? Or obsessive perhaps? At the end of the 3 day seminar series, we had the opportunity of recording a video testimonial about the seminar presenter, and this woman told me (in a public setting, not in private) that she was very nervous about standing in front of the camera. Besides her own admission, I could see and sense that she had real issues with confidence and noted that she did not exude happiness or other positive energy. She was the kind of person that some people with certain emotional/mental problems would have found depressing to be around.
  3. See my article: When A Psychologist Or Psychiatrist Or Counsellor Is Not An Expert

The three examples above are key reasons why you should be careful about assessing potential counsellors, or similar, on the grounds of their qualifications. Personally, I have nothing against academic study, and besides having done some myself, I have/have had many learned friends. One of these was* (*deceased 2017) a retired professor of psychology. What is important though, is the results, impact and effect of a person. Having a good education is great, however there are many educated derelicts out there. Many ‘health’ or well-being practitioners are well below par, despite all the certificates. Make sure you do not waste your money, time or life on them. Some will mess you up big time.
So, what are some other things to think about when looking for a good counsellor?

  • Experience and results are two key issues.
  • What is the counsellor like? Dynamic, full of life in a loving way? Do they inspire you? Do you sense they can help you?
  • Has the counselor been through, and successfully emerged from, a really terrible past? Many people end up in the counselling or psychology field through a career choice. Nothing wrong with that and some do an outstanding job, however they cannot compare with someone who has actually lived the experience.
  • Referrals can be good, however the right counsellor for one person is not necessarily right for another. Referrals can also be given because the counselor concerned is just good at hosting cosy chats complete with tea and biscuits.
  • Does the counsellor have a high love quotient? Or are they cool and impersonal?
  • Does the counselor have an intuitive side? This can be very important indeed.
  • Are you going to be helped with sorting out the very deep stuff? Can your counsellor really help with that? Most can’t, and have no idea, simply because they have not been through it themselves and emerged victorious.

In my view, probably the most important is the life experience the counsellor has. Have they lived what they are trying to tell you? Or are they ‘do as I suggest/say, not as I do’ type people?
Contact me today for an obligation free chat about how I can help you and make a significant difference in your life.
Note about spelling: You may have noticed the use of both the single and double l in counselor, counselling. This is deliberate and designed to help as many of people find (in the search engines) and benefit from this blog post as possible. In North America the word counselor is the correct spelling, whereas in the UK and Australia it is counsellor. Just using one spelling could mean that some interested readers would not find the post. Additionally, I have counseling clients who I help over the phone in North America (USA & Canada) the United Kingdom, New Zealand and some other countries. It would be sad if someone missed out on getting help due to spelling! Thank you for your understanding.

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