Last Updated on 1 September 2021 by Leon Rowan
On Tuesday 24th August 2010, Nimue, our Singapura cat, was having a routine veterinary teeth cleaning procedure under anaesthetic at a vet surgery on the Gold Coast. Unfortunately, while coming round, she had a cardiac and respiratory arrest and died for 4 minutes. The vet and his team got her back, which in itself was a miracle. The vet said she was a ‘fighter’. For now, she had beaten death. (Poignantly, I later discovered that she didn't actually need the teeth clean and it was a case of over servicing by the vet concerned).
We are grateful for the wonderful veterinary staff at the Animal Emergency Service emergency care facility where Nimue was taken later in the day. There was some hope that Nimue would recover her faculties and health. Sadly, she did not, despite initial dramatic and positive progress. She had suffered brain damage and lost her sight.
Nimue was put to sleep at our home on Monday 30th August 2010, at approximately 20:10 hours Australian EST.
We miss Nimue greatly of course, and her last week was terrible. Now she is gone.
Nimue is actually in a very special and happy place now. And the manner of her passing was special too.
Hopefully this account will help some of you, the readers, to come to better terms with death, however it might be affecting your life. I am also available to help you personally if required.
Immediately before Nimue was put to sleep, I cradled her head in my palm for around 20 minutes. Nimue was lying on our bed with her head towards the edge at the side. We did not plan it that way – she had crawled there after earlier resting with her head on my pillow on the other (my) side of the bed (she had gone there of her own accord anyway – in keeping with what she did when she was well; she loved where I had been). In the final minutes, as we kneeled by the side of the bed – with the vet on my right, my wife on my left and Anoushka my stepdaughter behind us, I conducted a Shamanic ritual (simple one) for Nimue to help her pass into the next world.
Before Nimue was injected with the lethal dose (a drip catheter was already in her leg due to previous hospital treatment) a deep peace descended on the room during the ritual…
Once we were in that state of peace and had been there a little while, I gave the OK for the vet to administer the drug (needle was already waiting in the injector thing).
Before Nimue died (was injected), in the last moments she became calm and serene – everyone felt the peace – the vet, my wife, Anoushka, me and of course Nimue. The feeling of peace was so thick it felt as if it could be cut with a knife.
This was particularly important for Nimue, but also for us because we will never forget it – it is burned into our deep psyche – we know what we felt and saw. This helped us heal because were the ones left behind, hurting. Nimue is not hurting now.
We were very privileged to experience Spirit coming for Nimue like that. We will all always remember the deep sense of peace that arose in the room before she passed. I am extremely grateful.
Afterward, my wife told me (I had my eyes closed most of the time during the ritual while assisting Nimue’s passing) that Nimue’s face before she passed (was injected), became very serene – at the same time as the sense of peace in the room. So much so, that my wife thought the vet had already injected her and put her to sleep, despite the arrangement for me to give the go ahead, and my wife had not heard me do that.
I will always miss Nimue, and though I failed her healing wise (we were winning until sometime between the early hours of the morning on Friday 27th August and Saturday 28th – the treating vets had talked of the highly likely happy possibility of her returning home that weekend), I am grateful to have helped her pass, and grateful to Spirit. I also failed her because I had an intuition about not taking her to have her teeth done, yet instead listened to logic.
Nimue was a very special and unusual cat – she was psychic, had a ‘massive mind', huge personality and was the most agile cat I have ever seen. I will always love her.
Whilst I felt terrible pain during this momentous battle, I never lost my joy – but that is because my joy is not of this world.
Deep joy and deep love come from Spirit…..which is where Nimue is now.
We were told by the vet that we would experience about 3 months of severe grief. When he said it, I knew we wouldn't but didn't argue the point. You see, because we had felt the peace so strongly we KNEW where she had gone and what it was like. We missed her, though we never felt severe grief – we were incapable of doing so because the peace we felt at the time of her passing was so real and deep. So real that it was one of the most beautiful feelings I have ever felt in my life.
People often try to comfort themselves, and others, on the death of a person or animal they love with things like: “He or she is at peace now….has gone to heaven, or similar”. Whilst intentions are commendable, and understandable, there is usually no genuine knowing; and they don't believe it deep down. How much better it is to know. If someone you love has passed, it is possible for you to get genuinely deep peace and knowing about it, if you know how to access it. I can help you with this. I am sorry for your loss.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave bereft
I am not there. I have not left.
Poem written in 1932 by Mary Elizabeth Frye